January 4, 2017

A Season Like No Other

Today is the first day back to my regular routine after the holidays - and what a wonderful break it's been, spent quietly at home with my family. It was all about filling the hours with lots of eating, laughing, movie watching, and couch surfing, without having to rush or stick to any sort of schedule.

There was something different about this holiday season for me. Usually, I would have this inner pressure sitting heavy on my heart, telling me that I haven't done enough, that I've let another year slip by without moving towards my big dreams, and that I have to get really clear on my next steps right away so I can hit the ground running once that calendar on the wall changes, and never let it happen again. This year, however, I didn't feel any of that. Instead, I felt so at peace, and I was so much more immersed into the celebrations, quiet and simple as they may have been.

To be honest, these holidays haven't been picture perfect: a bunch of the dishes that we had been looking forward to making for our celebrations didn't happen, the holidays cards didn't get mailed until three days before Christmas, my desk, which hasn't seen an inch of clear space in months, actually became even more cluttered and, as a literal last bump in the road, we spent a chunk of the last (freezing) morning of the year assessing damage and filling insurance paperwork after a minor car accident; and yet somehow I was able to thoroughly enjoy this break, more than I have in a very long time.

I realized that it wasn't the season itself that was different from the ones of past years, but that the difference was inside of me. I really believe that, through all the work I've had to do on myself, 2016 really changed me and taught me so many precious lessons. It made me stronger, and it showed me what - and who - matters most. Ultimately, it painted the picture of how I want to live my life clearer than I've ever seen it, and I can't help but think how sweet it is to recognize, looking back, that the hardships and struggles of these last 12 months were all for good reason.

Even more, this inner change also allowed me to see December 31st and January 1st for what they actually are, two regular days coming one after the other, no different than the 363/4 other ones in the year in anything besides their potential to offer us a beautiful blank slate to use however we like to slowly create our own masterpiece day after day.

I hope that, whether 2016 was a great or difficult year for you, that you were able to enjoy a holiday season filled with love, laughter, and relaxation, and that you're looking forward to this 2017 that thankfully comes, like all years do, one day at a time.

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